Sunday, April 26

The heartbreak of a Hottie


Yesterday morning, on my morning walk with my mother, there was an elderly couple (I would estimate them to be over 70 years old) walking along holding hands.  Now, I noticed them because I found it sweet that they shuffled along together at the same pace.  I had my iPod on and kept on at my usual pace.  That image alone was just absolutely endearing.  But my mother, who was going much slower than I, had walked behind them for quite a while.  It turned out that this particular couple spent their turns around the park just talking to one another... and when they reached the end of one turn and would start the next round, the man would turn to his wife, pat her hand and ask her if she was alright enough to continue walking a little more.  The woman would turn back to him and would, in most concerned tones, state that she would only take another turn around the park if he was ready for it.  She didn't want him to work too hard or put himself out just for her.  And so they shuffled on some more, never letting go of one another's hands.  

When I met my mother back at the car, having finished my turns, she told me how for every round that couple made, they would have the same loving exchange.  As we left, we could see them still walking along holding hands.  It even had my mother's eyes all foggy, and she is quite the cynic!  Needless to say that the sight really touched me.  

Even thinking of it now, my heart just aches and my eyes get teary.  I probably did not do the couple justice in describing them.  It probably struck me more because I recently went through a breakup, and it turns out that so have a few other Hotties.  So it made me just long to be able to find someone to attain that... to be old and grey, but be able to hold hands with my husband as we tried to keep one another healthy long enough to have as much time together as possible.  
I thought that my breakup hadn't affected me.  But my numbers last week weren't the best.  They were a giant step back, almost, from all the progress I had been making.  While I don't think I binged on food (at least I tried to keep myself in check, but after the disappointment of a relationship ending, I felt once or twice a few chocolate kisses were warranted), I definitely wasn't as active as I could have been last week.  Sure, I went through the motions of exercise and I thought that it was enough.  However, while I was doing my walk yesterday morning, even my mother remarked at how off I had been the week before.

We are emotional creatures and a lot of our bad habits stem from a need to find pleasure in some way.  What is more pleasurable than food?  And when we are depressed, we usually sleep less... yet aren't as active as we could be.  I wish it weren't the case.  I wish I could get myself back on track the way I should be.  After all, this was a commitment to myself and my health.  If anything, this is but a test on how to really work through those tough patches.   

I feel as if I'm slowly coming up from under water.  Although I still feel as if I'm treading water, this will hopefully come back together for me.  I can only hope that the same can be said about the other Hotties who had had to deal with similar situations.  The best as I can say is to bottle up the self-righteous disappointment, bottle it up into momentum and create a disciplined routine.  The first few days may be rough but then it gets easier.  And if there is a day when you just don't feel like it, give yourself that one day to wallow.  Let it all out of your system; release it and don't let it poison you from within.  Then go back with renewed strength.  

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I'll even share my favorite quote for a little added inspiration... 

“Only the test of fire makes the finest steel” - Abraham Lincoln
 

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